Statement of Deputy Attorney General
"Kids Day at DOJ"
August 6, 2001
I'm here today to announce that a major Department of Justice investigation has been launched to look into the Jurassic Park dinosaur phenomenon and the mysterious disappearance of more than a dozen top scientists from around the country over the past several months.
Investigators will be searching for clues to determine if the missing scientists, who are all renowned for their work in bio-genetics and DNA science, may have been kidnapped in order to continue cloning dinosaurs that could be used to wreak havoc on other islands around the world.
The investigation will also focus on determining the extent of the dinosaur population, their communication capabilities and whether these creatures could be used by terrorists or criminals to further their illegal goals to take over the world.
At this time I can also reveal that Dr. Alan Grant, who was instrumental in rescuing Eric Kirby and his family and other members of the research team from the Isla Sorna Island, was actually working as an undercover agent for the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
It has been through his ongoing work and his latest mission to the Island that we now know that we cannot just assume that dinosaurs are a thing of the past and that they dont have the intelligence to survive in the modern world.
As you all saw in the portrayal of Jurassic Park Three, these dinosaurs could be a very real threat to our future if they are allowed to roam free or if the science used to clone these prehistoric mammals could then be used to threaten the safety and well being of law abiding citizens around the world.
We will be bringing together an international team of investigators, prosecutors and also scientists to assist in this investigation.
The Department of Justice is committed to ensuring the safety of every American. And we stand ready to work together with the international law enforcement community as we join forces to locate and rescue our missing scientists, find and prosecute the criminals that are behind these reprehensible kidnappings and ensure that these dinosaurs or the science utilized to clone them cannot be used to inflict harm on any more innocent people.
I would be happy to answer any questions you may have. A number of agents who will be working on the investigation are with me today and are available to answer any other questions you may have.