N000139

Thursday, December 20, 2001 9:41 PM
Families Pain due to loss of     

How can anyone say how much someones pain is worth and whose pain is greater? I lost my daughter      , her body has not been recovered as of yet. I keep hoping for some closure or a great miracle that she walk in the door. Since this horendous tragedy I have been unable to cope with normal life functions.      is my first born and has two remaining siblings who are terribly devastated by this. My son lost school for this and than lost even more because of the stress he developed mononeucliosis, he lost another 4 weeks of school. My daughter      gave birth to her first child on 9-22, her delivery was not easy since she developed complications probably due to the stress of losing her only sister, the intended godmother of her daughter. As for myself I have not returned to work cause I can't function. My husband is beside himself, he feels he let us down. He blames himself for taking her to the train that dreadful day. I feel I can't be there for my daughter and my granddaughter because I hurt so bad. My holidays are ruined. I suffer from anxiety and depression. Do you no what it's like to go to a store in hopes of accomplishing something and you have to run out cause all I think of is      ? I attended the meeting last night because I thought it might help since I haven't been into Manhattan since I picked up the flag and urn, but I left in discust I can't help but believe that her life is worth less because she didn't make a great salary. It was graet for her she only worked for      for a little over a year. She graduated      in      , after 4 years of hard work. Is that not worth anything? Had she had the chance to forfill her lifes dreams she would have been making plenty. Her intentions were to go back to school for her masters. My daughter was to be married in 2002 to her fiancee      who is now in the police academy. They were together almost 6 years.      was my strength, she picked me up when I was down. She helped me with anything I needed, She was a great role model to her sister and brother . They truly looked up to there sister. That is all gone now and so are my dreams of her wedding , her children, my grandchildren and anything else she would have accomplished in life. My daughter touched so many peoples lives while in college she worked in      as a cashier, when people heard that      was missing they sent condolences I had no idea that so many people knew her. There cards were a comfort to me in one way knowing that strangers to me knew how good my daughter is. This is just a bit of what is on my mind, had you known      you would have liked her from the start. I don't envy your position and I hope you can make people comfortable with your decision on the worth of there loss, but as I seen from the meeting the only people that will be o.k. are the ones that have earned the big bucks and had years till retirement. As I see it and have felt from the beginning, my daughter is not important she had no husband, children nor was she a policeman nor fireman but had not her life been cut short by a tragedy that should have been prevented she would have been a wife and a mom. My daughter does have a family that loves her and needs her. I have lost a parent and 2 siblings in my lifetime and the pain than was so bad but this is something I don't think I can handle the painis the worst pain imagineable and only those that go through it would know, so again please tell me how you can tell me what my pain is worth?

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